Image courtesy of Creative Commons/Flickr user: gemsling

To make fear your friend, you must embrace it, instead of running away, or condemning yourself for feeling it.*

If you're like me, when you feel fear, you just want it to go away.

Or you listen to those awful voices that condemn you for being afraid, because if you had more faith, then of course, you wouldn't be afraid. Been there, unfortunately, and I don't recommend it. It is not how God deals with our fears.

Or if you are in denial, you pretend fear hasn't come knocking, as you down a pint of ice cream, or however you self-soothe. Hmm...toffee coffee ice cream, anyone?

When I see a friend, I do not run away. Instead, I walk toward her, and I give her a hug. Next, I usually ask how she is doing. 

Okay, I won't be hugging fear, but I also won't be running away. Instead, I will be running into my loving God's arms.

Recently, I shared a fear-triggering encounter with my wise friend, Kim, who gave me great advice. She suggested I ask: "What is underneath my fear? What is my fear trying to tell me?"

I had already talked to God about my fear, and reminded myself: I have nothing to fear because He is always with me. (Isaiah 41:10)

But Kim gave me a way to go deeper, and to make fear my friend, by telling me something more, besides, I'm afraid.

If you have no idea what the fear is trying to tell you, ask God to show you.  This is often the case when the underlying cause has been buried deep by time and pain.*

Ask God to give you the courage to face your fear(s). He will, if you are open and willing.

May I suggest that you visualize Jesus with you as you face into your fear(s). There is such power in being able to name it, and for me, to write down exactly what my fear is.

Once you name it, it is no longer nebulous, and unapproachable.* It may even become less scary.

Here are some examples of naming one's fear(s):

-Fear of not being able to pay all of my bills.

-Fear that _______________ [a current struggle will never go away] such as, joblessness, marital strife, chronic pain, depression etc.]

The focus is on naming and identifying the fear at this stage, and not finding a solution. First things first.

-Fear that I or someone else will never change _______________________ [e.g., a bad habit, an addiction, a character flaw]

-Fear of abandonment, loss. [This is a big one for anyone who has suffered a loss (e.g., through a parents' divorce, your divorce, death of a loved one at a young age, trauma because of war and/or natural disaster).]

-Fear of _____________________ [what would you put in the blank?]

As Kim and I talked, I realized what God was telling me: the fear was revealing a deep soul wound in need of more healing. I am glad I took the time to look at my fear, and go deeper.

The fear reminded me of when I, as a young child, felt intense fear, and there was no one to comfort me. God had already given me this insight, but Kim gave me an approach to use the next time fear rears its ugly head.

Kim was right: God was using fear to reveal a need for greater healing. Once exposed, I can bring my fear and my pain to God, and experience His love and healing touch.

I am so grateful for how spoke to me through Kim.

So next time, fear shows up, treat it like a friend, and ask: What are you trying to tell me? Ask yourself: What is underneath my fear?

Was Kim's advice helpful to you? How do you deal with fear when it shows up?

Thanks for being brave, and sharing your experience(s) with us. {Clapping for you!}

If I can pray for you, please use my "Contact Me" page. I would be honored to pray for you.

* For very severe/debilitating fears, you may need the assistance of a trusted and competent professional to help you work through those fears.

P.S. Tomorrow, I have the privilege of guest posting at http://bibledude.net/ about growing in our relationship with God. Hope to see you there...

Read about Emily Wierenga's new book, Chasing Silhouettes, here.

Linking up with God-graced sisters: wonderful Jennifer of Getting Down with Jesus,  encouraging Emily of Imperfect Prose and her wonder team (includes gifted poet Brian Miller of Waystation One ), and thoughtful Michelle of Graceful.

Copyright Soul Stops 2012/Dolly Lee.