It is funny how God gives you just the words you need, but you don't discover them till the next day.

Yesterday, I  prayed to God for wisdom on what to do about our daughter's attitude. I suggested she write 10 things she was thankful for in her journal because Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are has helped refocus my giving thanks.

Before, I would somewhat regularly write "thanks" in my journal, but now I have a separate gratitude journal. Counting God-gifts: small, big, and everything in-between.

Our girl scribbles fast, gets up, and tells me she is done. I ask to see her journal: she is "thankful for everything God has given her."

Hmm. I tell her that is not what I had in mind so I show her my gratitude journal. She reads my numbered thanks for God-given-gifts, then says, "It's all little things."

To which I replied, that is how we begin, by giving thanks for the seeming small things, which helps us recognize the bigger things.

Apparently, Ann Voskamp had the same thought yesterday, as I read her words today:

‘Only he who gives thanks for little things receives the big things.

We prevent God from giving us the great spiritual gifts He has in store for us, because we do not give thanks for daily gifts. -Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Faith in Community

Read the rest of Bonhoeffer's quote and Ann's thoughts here - you'll be blessed.

So guess what we did today? Our girl and I read Ann's post together. It was fun to introduce her to Ann's blog, and to let her know that it wasn't only her mom's idea to give thanks.

Today, I am thankful for how God creatively answers prayer in very surprising ways. He sent me back-up in a big way.

I have never had the privilege of meeting Ann, and I'm pretty sure I am not even a blip on her radar.

Ann didn't know what words we needed, but our gracious God did. So grateful.

What are some of the benefits of kids learning to be grateful?

How has God surprised you? What just right words has God recently given you?

Need a gift?...To buy Emily Wierenga's lovely artwork on a journal, t-shirts and mugs, please visit http://www.cafepress.com/tspoetry

Linking up with God-graced sisters: wonderful Jennifer of Getting Down with Jesus,  encouraging Emily of Imperfect Prose and her wonder team, and thoughtful Michelle of Graceful.

© Soul Stops/Dolly Lee 2012.   Limited License: Okay for noncommercial use if you attribute this post to me and link to my permalink and blog.

Image courtesy of: Beautiful Truth

It is 8:30 p.m. and our tween-girl is in bed. Before she closed her eyes, I hugged her tight. She told me she wanted me to hug her longer.

At about 7 p.m., she was crying mad and I was telling her that we will talk after she calms down.

What happened between 7 p.m. and 8:30 p.m.?

I made a strategic decision to withdraw from escalating conflict to give us both time to calm down. I have learned the hard way that further discussion when adrenaline is queen is pointless.

It was not "we will never ever talk again" but "we will talk when everyone has calmed down" and we did.

I apologized for yelling (although it was provoked by what she did). She apologized for her part (which I won't say to protect her privacy and she reads my blog sometimes.)

I apologize because I want to teach her self-control (which I did not exhibit when I yelled) and the ability to say "you're sorry when one makes a mistake."

I can't ask her to do what I am not willing to do. Well, I could, but it would be hypocritical.

Most importantly, I want her to know that it is okay to be imperfect and that perfection is not a prerequisite to being loved.

Because God loves us despite our imperfections, and I want her to know that about God. Yes, God does discipline us, but always from a place of unconditional love.

Finally, I want her to know that two people can love each other, get mad, express their feelings (sometimes well, sometimes not so well), and still deeply love each other.

I'm thankful that it was not a big issue because I know as she gets older {sigh} it may take longer to resolve conflict. But for now, I am grateful.

• ⁴Fathers [and mothers], don't exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master. Ephesians 6:4 MSG

When you were a child, did your parent(s) (or primary caregiver) apologize to you if s/he or they made a mistake?

If you are a parent, do you apologize to your child if you blow it? And why (whether you answer "yes" or "no")?

Image courtesy of: Beautiful Truth

© Soul Stops/Dolly M. Lee 2011.   Creative Commons License: Okay for noncommercial use if you attribute this post to me and link to my permalink and blog.

I prepare chicken (by shaking it in "Dixie Fry" mix) for dinner, while our daughter works on homework nearby on the kitchen table.

"Is a triangle a polygon, mom?"

"Hmm, what is the definition of a polygon?"  I rack my brain and try to remember math from very long ago... I want to say "yes" but my brain is focused on getting dinner on the table.

I encourage her to figure out the answer.  After all, don't we learn better when we discover the answer ourselves?

"Never mind, I think I know the answer."  [For inquiring minds, a triangle is a polygon.]

Sigh of relief...I can stop rummaging around in my mind's attic opening up musty boxes buried deep.

Then I noticed it like discovering a rainbow or meeting a good friend unexpectedly.  Gratitude welling up in my heart.  The gift of being grateful.

As part of Advent, I have been praying* to be open like Mary and receive the gifts that God wants to give me.  Mary modeled humble receptivity to God.

First Mary received from God so that she could give the world what it most needed: a Savior.

God wants me to receive first from Him, so that I can give His love to others.

Instead of feeling the usual rush to get dinner ready, I felt thankful.

Giving thanks that I can prepare dinner.  Last year at this time, I was sick and my ankle was still not fully healed which made standing and cooking more challenging.

Thank you, God, that we have food.  I give thanks that our girl can go to school and that she finished her homework without too much help from me.

It is almost as if I am observing someone else, because it is His Spirit birthing gratitude within me.

Like Mary, I experience a gift that I didn't create.  God did.  Like Mary, I was simply open.

So grateful.

Where do you sense God birthing something new in you?  A new perspective?  A new dream?

What was the kindling for today's post?

My friend Jennifer's post inspired me today.  Read her wonderful post "Small Beauty Big" at her blog "You are my girls."

* My latest Advent-inspired post "Pondering the mysterious Mary" also helped birth today's post. 

Linking with the wonderful Jennifer of "Getting Down with Jesus" at

Linking also with the equally encouraging Emily at "Tuesdays unwrapped" at her blog "Chatting at the sky."

Image courtesy of: Amazon

© Soul Stops/Dolly L. 2011.   Creative Commons License: Okay for noncommercial use if you attribute this post to me and link to my permalink and blog.