Image Credit: mmcdermott_2009
Recently, I harmed my soul despite my best intentions.
I called her, and I didn't listen to my inner voice that said, "You will be drained." Seventeen minutes later, my soul felt like it needed CPR.
I found a way to politely end our conversation, and I tried to not berate myself for my less than wise choice.
As I journaled, and talked to God about what had happened, He reminded me: Be patient. I'm working on you.
Later as my husband and I talked, he said, "Don't call her. You suffer, and then we suffer the fall-out from it." Ouch!
He was right.
I forgot how, for a few months this past spring, God had impressed on me that I was not to talk to her on the phone because I was "wet clay." In-transition. This unusual course of action was confirmed as I sought counsel from wiser, older friends.
Most importantly, I felt His peace when I obeyed Him; I felt no peace whenever I contemplated calling her.
He was creating something new in me, and she would disrupt what He was trying to form within me.
"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." - Ephesians 2:10 ESV
Every time I picked up the phone, I sensed, "No, don't call."
He gave me a new-found strength to say, "No," to the people pleaser within, because I wanted to please Him more than I wanted to please her, or to appease my sense of false guilt.
Even as I write this post, I remind myself of what is true, and how I must continue to trust God with this relationship.
For now, I'm sticking with email until God, The Master Potter, tells me I am no longer wet clay.
A poem by St. Irenaeus called "Potter and Clay" based on Jeremiah 18: 1-6:
It is not you who shape God;
It is God who shapes you.
If then you are the work of God,
await the hand of the Artist
who does all things in due season.
Offer the potter your heart, soft and tractable,
and keep the form in which the Artist has fashioned you.
Let your clay be moist,
lest you grow hard and lose the imprint of the Potter's fingers.
He is the One I most desire to please, and He is the One who loves me best.
Has God ever called you to do something differently as part of your growth? What helps you to discern His voice, and His touch on your life?
P.S. Please pray for those affected by recent storms and fires.
Giving thanks with Ann:
- Kind and loving husband
- The Master Potter's gentle and skillful hands
- One butterfly emerged whole from its chrysalid today
- One butterfly came out with one good wing, and another wing crumpled...our girl has decided to baby this one.
- Sweet watermelon
- Hubby cutting up the watermelon
- Girl's excitment over the butterfly
- Bloggy friends, and friends nearby
- God's comfort
- Another week with Jubi...continuing to pray for God's wisdom as we walk an unknown path with our dog
Linking with sweet, and gifted friend Laura for a play date
and giving thanks with wise Ann
and talented L.L. Barkat
and the amazing Jen
© Soul Stops/Dolly Lee 2012. Creative Commons License: okay to use if you attribute the work to me, and include the permalink for this post to link back to my blog.