For the 15th post in our trust series, I'm honored to have Katherine share her story of trusting God while fighting cancer. Her trust and faith in God makes my eyes misty and my heart soar.
The trust series will probably end with one or two more posts. My Muir Woods hike is scheduled to appear at Tweetspeak Poetry on 11/14/14.
You hold my every moment, you calm my raging seas…
There are times in our lives that are pivotal. Times when it feels like we’re in the middle of an earthquake, but the shaking is happening inside of us, at the very core of who we are.
It leaves us feeling unsteady, unwilling to walk the road in front of us on such wobbly legs. Those are the times we sit. We sit with the God of the universe and we talk, cry, question and listen.
We sit when we want to run. When the pieces of our lives are scattered around us, tossed about by the shaking, we sit. And when we whisper that we don’t know what to do, and we don’t know how we are going to do it… He says “Trust me.”
It was one of those times I will never forget. There was nondescript music playing over an intercom and the air in the diner was thick with the aroma of coffee and bacon. I was sitting across from my husband, one hand on a coffee mug, the other holding his.
Often, life doesn’t play out in rosy scenes full of beautiful props and pretty backdrops. Sometimes it looks like processing the news from an oncologist over a late breakfast in a worn, red vinyl booth. I tried focusing on the cars just outside the window to avoid dissolving into a complete puddle, but it didn’t work.
You walk with me through Fire, you heal all my disease…
“I don’t understand this,” I said, “but there are things I know, things that breast cancer can’t change.”
I met my husband’s gaze. “God is faithful. He has always been faithful to us. He cannot be otherwise, it’s who He is. He promised He will not walk away and I believe He always keeps His promises.”
We were focusing on each other now, trying to put into words all that we were thinking and feeling.
Leaning back against the bench he said, “God is good. Always.” “If He heals me, if I have to go through treatments and surgery, or if I die because of this,” I whispered. “He will still be good.” And then we were both in a puddle but the answer was, and will always be, yes.
Yes, He is always good, always doing the very best for us. Nothing changes that. Nothing changes Love. He is always good, Always strong, Always present.
And there it was, His whisper, in the midst of a roaring wind, “Trust me” And I trust in you, Lord I trust in you… ("Healer" by Hillsong).
And sometimes, it’s in the looking back. It’s the thread of God’s faithfulness, goodness and strength in all of our days, years and generations that allows us to hold on and trust Him.
Faith offers us a hand, and we stand. Love covers all of our “what if’s” and we take footsteps in Trust.
We trusted the God of the universe… with my life. Not just once, but every day, every step.
And even now, after Chemo, surgery and radiation, there are times when winds of fear howl loud. They threaten to tear us from His arms of overwhelming un-ending love and leave us standing on our own, trusting in our own strength.
But the voice that speaks in the ravaging winds is bigger than fear, cancer, or death. We disarm the fear with this: God is Good, He is Strong, He is always Present Today and every day, no matter what the seasons bring can walk in His Grace and trust Him with it all.
(Dear friends, will you please join me in praying for Katharine's complete healing and for continued peace for her and her family as they walk through this storm.)
Thank you, Katharine, for sharing your story although your heart still feels raw.
Soul Stops Moment:
What struck you about Katharine's story?
Katharine makes her home in Ontario, Canada where she shares life and laughter with her husband and four children. She is on a journey with the God of the universe, discovering who she was created to be, and what it means to walk living loved, in everyday grace. Always listening for His heart and never without a cup of good coffee in a great mug!
You can visit her blog Katharine Barrett - Just a Thought - here.
I'm linking with these encouraging friends: Holley Gerth, Jennifer Dukes Lee,and Lyli Dunbar of Thought-Provoking Thursdays.